Meet Payback, the bitch
by JustAWriterWannaBe
Summary: Famed author Rick Castle has been working with the NYPD 12th precinct for five years. Maybe someone should wish him a happy anniversary?
1. The Setup

_**Author's Notes:**_  
_I WANT A FREAKIN' DIVORCE FROM MY MUSE!_  
I have real work to do and a real life to lead and she won't leave me alone!  
What's worse, she doesn't believe in plot-bunny population control!  
This came to me this morning while I was in the shower. I really wish it hadn't.  
I want to finish my other story!

* * *

"Meet Payback, the bitch."  
**Chapter 1**  
The setup.

* * *

Chapter Posted: 4/9/14  
_**Story Notes:**_  
Thank you for reading my story, I hope you enjoy it.  
It takes place somewhere in the fifth season time-frame.  
No particular reference points needed.  
No spoilers.

* * *

"Thanks again Missus R." Esposito says to the woman as she holds the door open for them.

"No need dears. The video will be all I need." she says smiling wide.

"This will only take us five minutes, Alexis gave us a map of where to place them." Ryan says holding up the hand drawn map.

"I'll have you know, I'm doing this against my better judgement. I almost feel sorry for Richard but I'm sure he's earned your revenge." Martha calls out to them as she goes to the 'fridge to get a bottle of water.

"Ryan, did she say under the mattress or the bed?" Esposito calls out from the bedroom.

"Under the mattress!" Ryan calls back from the office. "I've got two planted in here including the light-sensitive one and I've put the note Beckett gave us on the desk! I'm going upstairs to the guest room, be right back."

"Okay bro', I've got mine set, I just have the one to put in his shoes in the closet." he hears back followed by "Ryan! You _have_ to see this, Lanie doesn't have this many shoes!"

"Ah Richard. Your karmic comeuppance will make a nuclear test look peaceful." Martha mumbles to herself sitting at the breakfast bar waiting for them to finish.

"Holy crap!" Ryan yells now that he's seen it. "Dude, I have to take a picture for Jenny, she won't believe this!"

"Okay, Alexis said the pair of shoes with the laces tied in a bow right?" Esposito says sounding as if he's on his knees looking for the shoes in question. "Got it!" he calls out.

As the two detectives walk into the living room, Martha's sitting there smiling. "Boys, I have to say, I'm very pleased that my son has you for friends."

"Thank you Misses R." Javi says smiling.

"If you were enemies, I am not sure he'd survive it." she says with a wink. "Okay you two, skedaddle, you have to talk to the super before you leave and we don't want Richard to wonder where you are. I'm sorry I don't know how that water heater thingy works." she says shepherding them to the door.

"Thanks again Misses Rogers." Ryan says as she locks the door and he presses the button for the elevator.

"How's your school doing? Castle says he's never seen you so happy working so hard."

"He said that? What a dear. He's right you know. This is possibly the hardest work I've ever had but it's also the most fulfilling. Oh, here we are. I'll introduce you two and then I have to run."

"Of course." they say in stereo.

"Ah, there he is now with Eduardo." She says stepping out of the elevator.

"Hello Missus Rogers." he says pleasantly.

"I'd like to introduce these two gentlemen to you. This is Detective Ryan and Detective Esposito. Eduardo and Jorge knows them too. They are..." she stops and looks at the two for a moment then smiling says "repaying a number of gifts my son Richard has given them. I'm authorizing you to let them into the loft and help them with anything they need. You of course never met them before nor have we had this conversation." she says with a wink.

"Of course, I'll be glad to." he answers with a slight nod.

"Thank you. If that's all gentlemen, I'll bid you adieu, I need to attend to my school." She says seeming to float away as the four men just watch her go.

"Do you think she's always like that?" Ryan asks to no one in particular.

"So, what can I help you with gentlemen?" the super asks.

"We want to turn the water heater for his showers down to just warm." Esposito says smiling.

Eduardo, hearing this smiles with a light chuckle and walks back to his post shaking his head.

"Yes, let's go up there now. It's very easy to do." the super says ushering the men back into the elevator.

* * *

"Are you sure Tori's in?" Ryan asked in a whisper.

"Yeah bro' I talked to her again a few minutes ago. She's in on the gag." Esposito whispers back.

"Hey guys!" Castle says as he approaches his seat. "How's it goin? You two plotting to take over the world?"

"Hey Castle." Ryan says with a disinterested nod.

"Yo." Esposito says getting up and walking across the bullpen.

Looking around, Castle can't see anything amiss so he just assumes they're having a bad day. Partners, being as in synch as they are would likely share each others moods.

Rick, continuing to look around doesn't see Kate but her coat's on the chair so she's around. Just then the door to an interrogation room opens and Kate strides out with her phone in her hand, glowering at him.

"_Castle!_" She snaps. "What the _hell_? Why aren't you answering calls from Gina again? You _know_ it pisses me off when she has to resort to calling me like I'm your damn keeper." Angrily she takes her seat and slaps her phone down on the desk. "And then to top off _that_ call, while I'm on the phone with her, Paula calls and tells me that she needs the drafts for those speeches you offered to write for Bob. Castle! _He's the damn mayor_, you can't screw with his deadlines!" she says admonishing him none too quietly.

"I did? When did I do that?" he asks shocked.

"Don't give me that crap Richard Castle," she growls then lowering her voice "I know you better than that. You've had that note on your desk for a few days now. We're off-call so there's no damn reason for you to be here. _Go home._ Gina said you owe her five chapters and Paula said the drafts of the speeches needs to be in her inbox by tomorrow morning or she's coming after you."

As he inhales to speak wearing a smirk on his face she cuts him off with "No, I will _not_ protect you from her either. You're on your own with this one. You said you'd do it so you have to get it done. No more shirking your responsibilities." causing his smirk to slide off his face.

Just then Tori comes over to Beckett's desk with a folder. "Detective, you said you wanted new copies of these photos?"

Beckett takes the folder, glances at the contents and tells her "No, these aren't what I'd hoped for. Can I come with you to show you what I want and you can tell me if you can do it?"

"Of course." Tori says taking the folder back. "Come on, it shouldn't be too hard."

"Okay." Kate says getting up then turning to Rick "Castle. Go." she says with her arm pointed out towards the elevator and staring him down for a beat before turning and walking off with the technical officer.

"What the heck just happened?" Castle mumbles to himself. Turning he sees Ryan has abandoned him too. "Not much I can do." he thinks as he gets up and leaves mumbling to himself that he doesn't remember making these promises.

Sitting in the TSU lab, Kate is laughing with Kevin, Javi, and Tori. "Oh you should have heard Gina, she could not have enjoyed the idea of roasting him any more than if she was holding the blowtorch herself."

"Okay, he's exited the building aaaannnddd..." she says drawing out the word "He's in a taxi, the coast is clear." Tori tells them as she watches the monitor.

"Thank you Tori." Javi says giving her his 'I'm too cool for my shades.' smile.

"Detective Ryan, did he really do that to you?" she asks not sure if he's embellished his story.

"Oh yes he did." Kate says before turning to Kevin allowing him to continue.

Smiling, the Irishman tells her "Yes he did. I don't know how the hell he arranged it but he did. You should have seen the hotel, it was _swarming_ with their police. I couldn't get to my suitcase to get my badge to prove who I was.-"

"I still say it's weird, you were on your honeymoon, what the hell were you doing bringing your badge?" Javi asks not really expecting an answer.

"Did your wife know what was happening?" the young woman asks smiling, obviously enjoying the story.

"Not at first. They did it so I could hear her arguing with them about her age. Then they pulled me away and put me into a car and moved Jenny back inside to where I couldn't see her. That's when they told her the story to calm her down. They made me sweat about four hours down at the police station with what can only be described as the smelliest people they could find." Ryan explains while looking a little more determined with each passing second. "Oh yeah, and a freakin' goat who hadn't had a date in the past hundred years I think." he spits out in disgust.

"Do you think they really thought she was thirteen?"

"No, afterwards they 'fessed up and told us that Castle had also sent them proof of her real age and our marriage license to make sure that they knew it was a joke."

"Tori, thanks for everything." Kate says standing. "Tomorrow is going to be a fun day." she announces to the group then turning to her team giving them one of those raised eyebrow expectant looks "In the mean time, we've all got real work to do, right."

"Yeesss mom." the two drone as they turn and leave the tech's office with a wave to the girl.


	2. The Sting

_**Author's Notes:**_  
Anyone have a can of "Muse-be-gone" spray I can borrow? I need to get back to work.

* * *

"Meet Payback, the bitch."  
**Chapter 2**  
The sting.

* * *

Chapter Posted: Apr 9, 14;  
_**Story Notes:**_  
If I could be clever and creative and FF allowed it, here's where there'd be a picture board from the movie "The Sting" showing just that, the sting.

* * *

"Have you talked to him this morning?" Javi asks as he pours himself another coffee.

"No, not yet." Kate says smirking over the rim of her cup. "Martha sent me a text saying that everything is working exactly as planned."

"When are you going to call him?" Kevin asks, as he takes Javi's place at the coffee machine.

"I figure I'll give him another half hour then I'll light a fire under him and tell him he's late. Normally he'd have spent all night at his desk and only tried to get some sleep early this morning. He'd have given up on that after a couple of hours and then gone back to his office to work. With the stuff we've done, he'll not have even been able to close his eyes when he went to bed. Martha's text implied exactly that too. So, when I call him, he'll not bother to take the time to try and figure out his shower or even to bother calling the super, he'll just shower as much as he can stand and then come in here." she says relishing the fun they're having.

"I talked to Gates and she's letting Tori into her office in about ten minutes. She said she'll work from the conference room since her office will be bugged." Esposito informs them.

"She's okay with the flowers?" Ryan queries as he blows across his coffee to cool it down a little.

Sitting down Esposito answer. "Yeah, she said that she'll take them home when we're done and tell her husband that she purchased them herself. She said it with a slightly evil grin so I don't know what she has in mind."

"I do." Kate says smiling a knowing smile. "Oh! Here's Tori now." she says greeting the tech. "Hiya Tori, you all set to wire Gates' office?"

"I am. You're _sure_ she's on-board with this right?" the young woman asks understandably concerned for her career.

"Yes, she said she needs about another ten minutes so why don't you sit down and enjoy some coffee while we get ready for the main event." Kate tells her lightly.

"Here, let me." Javi says jumping up to get the woman a cup of coffee and not noticing Kevin and Kate grimacing at each other.

"Thank you Detective Esposito." she says with a slightly flirtatious smile. "You didn't tell me, what did Mister Castle do to you that makes you want to get back at him like this."

Smiling now, Javi gets to puff up his chest so to speak and tells her "I don't know if you were aware, I was Army Special Forces-" he begins not noticing that Ryan and Beckett are rolling _their_ eyes at him this time. "I got a visit at home one night by a Major in the Army Intelligence Service who handed me an envelope saying that I was being recalled for special duty. My orders and mission were Top Secret." at this Ryan looks at Kate and mouths '_Here we go._' "I'm used to Top Secret work, I did a lot of that during my time in the service. Anyway, I was to report to to Fort Drum for my orders and staging. He said that what he could tell me was that I was being sent to Antarctica as part of a special ops team and I'd be spending about two months on an ice-flow with two other guys."

"Oh wow." Tori says acting a little more 'school-girlish' than one would've expected. "That's scary, can they do that to you just like that?"

Turning on his bravado to full boast, he sits back "Aw that's nothing. It might have even been fun." he says "It wasn't the being sent out that bothered me it was the cold. I hate arctic work. I didn't find out he'd been yanking my chain until after I'd put a hold on all my mail, packed a bag, drove out to Fort Drum and almost got busted by the M-Ps for not believing that I wasn't an expected visitor."

Trying to save herself from passing out from the stench of the testosterone, Kate decides to check on some of the details "Ryan, you got the thingy?"

"Yeah, let me get it and show it to you." he says jumping up and scurrying out of the room to his desk.

When he comes back, he's got the package in his hand and is grinning.

"So how's this thing work bro'?" Esposito asks as he sits down on the couch, not too close but not too far from Tori.

"I went over the instructions last night a few times to make sure I've got it figured out and put fresh batteries in it this morning." he says sitting down at the high-top table next to everyone. "Y'see, it comes with this super strong magnet, it's the only way to open it and turn it off." he says holding it up and then explaining in great detail how the magic box works.

A few minutes later, when their eyes stop glossing over at Ryan's enthusiastic geek-gasm, Gates walks into the break-room. "Well, I see conspiracy gets everyone out of bed early." she says with a smirk as she goes to get herself a cup of coffee.

"Conspiracy and crickets Sir." Beckett says smiling.

"I'm sure I don't want to know Detective Beckett. Detective Ryan, you may begin, I've taken over the small conference room for the time being." Then swiveling to look at Kate "Do we have any expectations of when this particular trap will be sprung and we can return to normal?" the tone in her voice making it clear that this favor has a short shelf life.

"I'll call him in about twenty minutes. It'll take him about twenty-five minutes to get here depending on traffic and then I'll send him after the cheese." she says smirking.

"Very well Detectives. Good luck." Gates says stone faced turning and leaving the room.

"You'd think she'd laugh at least." Ryan says softly.

"Hey, she's letting us do it so I am inclined to think that she's enjoying it but doesn't want to be obvious about it." the Hispanic says, mostly to the girl next to him on the couch.

"Okay gang." Kate says standing up. "Let's get the people's business done while we're waiting." Kevin, you and Tori go to work and let us know when you're ready. I'll let you know when I call him." she says as she exits the room heading for her desk.

* * *

"Okay, ready?" Kate asks as she looks at the faces of her co-conspirators.

As soon as they all nod she hits the speed dial and puts the phone to her ear.

"Uh... castle..." comes the sleepy and exhausted voice from the other end of the phone.

"_Castle!_ Where the hell are you? Ryan's panicking, you were supposed to go over his notes for the trial with him. You said yesterday that you'd be in here a half an hour ago!" she barks at him. She can see in her mind's eye that he's sitting at his desk with his laptop screen saver blinking 'You. Should. Be. Writing.' at him. His hair's a mess and he's probably still in his boxers and a tee-shirt.

She points to Ryan for his cue who says "Beckett, is that Castle? Tell him I'm in deep crap if he's not here soon, the A-D-A wants to go over these notes and I'm not sure they're ready!"

"Rick, come on, what's gotten into you? You're never this out-of-it." Kate says quietly into the phone as if she's not in front of a small crowd of people who are fighting to not laugh at him.

"Oh geeze Beckett, I don't know what happened... What time... Look, just give me... give me about half an hour, I'll grab a hot shower and come right down to the precinct." He says with an apologetic sound in his voice that can't mask the huskiness from his lack of sleep.

"Okay but don't screw this up, remember, they're depending on you." she says earnestly. Then ending the call and the entire group bursts out laughing hysterically. "I'd love to have seen his face." Kate says laughing then almost repentantly "I'm a _baad_ woman."

* * *

Our group is sitting at their desks working hard when Kate's phone beeps with a message. Looking at it she announces "Okay, he just arrived. Kevin, go."

Quickly Ryan gets up from his desk and hurries down the stairs to go to where Tori is.

_**Ding**_ the elevator doors open to reveal Castle rushing over to Kate's desk. "Where's Ryan?" he asks.

"Kevin had to go, the A-D-A moved his meeting up half an hour. Castle, the guy looked like you kicked his puppy, what the hell has happened to you?" Kate asks sounding sympathetic but still angry.

Plopping down into his chair he rests his arm on her desk drops his head into the palm of his hand. "I don't know Kate, I just don't know. I got absolutely no sleep last night and there was no hot water this morning, I had to have a cold shower. I'm sorry."

"Yo Castle, my boy's all upset with you." Esposito says coming over to stand next to her desk. "You look like crap."

"Thanks there Espo. I feel just as bad as I look." he groans.

"He said he got no sleep last night." Kate tells Esposito then turning to the writer "Well, at least you got your writing done. I'm sure Bob will be happy."

Mumbling into the palm of his hand he admits things didn't go well "I didn't get any writing done. I found the note you'd left me like you said. I can't believe it's been there for almost a whole week." he says shaking his head disbelievingly.

"Castle? What's wrong? What's going on?" she asks sounding concerned.

He glances at Esposito and decides to try and avoid sounding pathetic. "Nothin' I just need to get a hot shower and some sleep and I'll be fine." He doesn't want to admit spending the entire past twelve hours chasing ninja crickets that he can't find.

"Pffftttt." He hears from Esposito who walks away sounding disgusted.

"Rick, do me a favor, I have to go downstairs, would you drop this on Gates' desk for me?" She asks holding out a folder to him.

"Yeah, sure. I think I can do that without screwing it up." he says seeming to ooze melancholy.

"Good, thanks. I'll be back in a few minutes. By the way, Gates is in a particularly foul mood so avoid her if at all possible. She's working in the conference room." she explains as she turns and heads for the stairs grinning and mumbling to herself "I'm a very _very_ bad girl today."

"I don't know what the hell's wrong with me." he thinks to himself as he walks to Gates' office, passing her sitting in the conference room. "Maybe I should have checked my horoscope today. It probably would have said _'Don't do it.'_ All I need is a little serenity and things will be back to normal." his inner voice says as he drops the folder on her desk. Turning to leave he sees a small black box with a bright red button on it and a post-it saying "Do Not Press" on a side table in her office. Curiosity gets the better of him and he goes over to it, picks it up and looks it over. It's a rectangular box, about six inches long and two inches high and two inches wide with this big red button on the top.

Kate, Javi, Kevin and Tori are staring at the monitor on Tori's desk, all saying "Come on." under their breaths when he does as they expected and he presses the button. He jumps almost a foot and starts to squeal like a piglet when the box starts to beep and buzz. They can hear him cursing and making squeaking noises and see the panic on his face as he tries pressing the button again to turn it off to no avail. He's banging it on the table and twisting it and looking around through the windows to make sure no one can see him.

"Reminds me of the fable of the monkey who got his hand caught in the cookie jar." Kevin says without taking his eyes off the screen while the four of them laugh hysterically, bordering on tears they're laughing so hard.

Meanwhile, on the screen, they can see three different views of Castle, in Gates' office trying to stop this buzzing thing. Slowly the noise diminishes and gets longer between beeps and buzzes. Just then, he sees Gates get up from the conference room table and start heading his way. He quickly puts the noisy box behind his back under his jacket. He greets Gates "Captain, Detective Beckett asked me to drop that folder on your desk." he says pointing with one hand and clearing his throat to hide noises coming from the box behind his back.

Gates responds by nodding an acknowledgement while he backs out of the office with his hand still holding the box behind his back.

"He really did it." Tori says quietly.

"I know." Kate says somewhat absently "And no one was willing to bet against me on it."

Just as Castle is walking back through the bullpen, trying to act nonchalant, with the box still behind his back, Kevin looks at the screen, holds up a little remote control and says, "Let's see how this gets received." as he presses the button.

They can see Castle almost dancing a jig to hurry to get away as everyone stares at him for having made a loud and disgusting farting sound. Prompting everyone in Tori's office to begin to laugh hysterically again.

"Here we go." Esposito says as they turn to the other screen as Rick scurries into the break-room closing the door behind him and closing one of the blinds so he can stand there and not be seen. "This is going to be the main event." he adds as Rick can be seen smacking it on the counter and stepping on the little box. He tries twisting it in both hands, banging it again, all to no avail, it keeps beeping and buzzing and making strange noises.

"The box is made of super hard A-B-S plastic like the stuff they use in N-F-L helmets. He's never going to break it." Kevin says to the group as they watch Rick squirm and writhe trying to stop this thing from making noises.

"Wow, is that what the call 'flop sweat'?" Tori asks pointing to the screen as they see Rick pull off his jacket to wrap the box in and they see his shirt is all stained with sweat.

When that doesn't work, he unwraps it again, stomps on it and then runs over to the sink and runs water over the box.

"Won't work Castle." Ryan says to the screen. "It's sealed and can take about five feet of water."

Castle stands there, looking panicked and unable to stop the box from making noise, he glances around the room again and hits on an idea, grabs a small bowl, puts the box in it and pours hot coffee on it. Ryan presses a button and they can see Castle, seeming to hold his breath staring at the annoying contraption suddenly begin to relax until Ryan presses a button again and the beeping and buzzing starts up again.

"Reminds me of that old suitcase commercial where they give a gorilla a suitcase to beat on." Esposito says happily.

They can hear him, his voice is full of terror and he sounds like he's one second away from breaking down when he sees Gates approaching the break-room door and he whimpers loudly.

"Did he just whimper?" Kate asks.

"Yeah he did." Javi answers. "Ryan, stop the box." he calls out as Gates comes in to the room to see Castle standing there, with his jacket on the floor and rivulets of sweat pouring down his face and the box behind his back again.

"Watch this." Ryan says as he presses a button on the remote and Castle jumps like he got and electric shock. "It vibrates too." he says proudly.

"Mister Castle." Gates says pouring herself a cup of coffee before she turns to face him.

"_Cap_**tain!?**" he responds completely flummoxed.

"Mister Castle. I was just thinking this week that I'm pleased to see that your adolescent and wholly inappropriate behavior has been brought under control around the precinct and you're acting more professionally and taking what we do here seriously."

_"Ryan!"_ Espo calls out causing Ryan to make the box vibrate again.

"**THAN**k _you!_ Captain." Castle says, his voice cracking like he was twelve again as the box jumps in his hand.

Slowly, the captain gives him a narrowed eye stare as she turns to leave the room. She looks squarely into the camera hidden under the coat on the coat rack and winks.

"Holy crap! Did you see that!?" Ryan belches as he leans on the desk to look closer at the screen.

"Okay guys, time for me to go let the mouse out of the trap." Kate announces as, on the screen, Castle can be seen trying to open one of the windows in the break-room. "Tori, remember, copies for us and us only and one DVD for Castle." Kate says as she leaves the room with the boys in tow.

As the elevator doors open Gates gives them a thumbs up sign and a slight smile as she returns to her work. As they get to the break-room, Castle's gotten the window open about an inch and a half and he's trying to force the box through the crack when he sees them coming.

In total surrender he sits down on the couch, bordering on tears, puts his head in his hands and groans waiting for the gang to arrive.

Slowly the three walk in and close the door behind them.

"Castle? Are you okay?" Kate asks concerned.

"Kate." he softly says, the exhaustion taking his words from him.

"Guess he couldn't figure out how to shut it off eh Espo?" Kevin says while they wait for the realization to hit him. The three smiling wide and happy.

Suddenly they see his body stiffen and he cracks two fingers apart and looks through at them. As soon as he sees the grins he knows he's been had and slumps down groaning.

"I cannot believe you guys." He says, the tension vaporizing around him.

"Castle, it's just our little way of saying 'Happy Anniversary.' to you." Beckett says warmly.

"Annivers..." he starts to ask of Kate.

"Five long, harrowing, exhausting, and wildly entertaining years ago an annoying, obnoxious, self-centered,-"

"You forgot egotistical." Lanie Parish offers now standing in the other doorway.

"_Yes!_ _egotistical_, play-boy writer insinuated himself into our little family." she says smiling.

Ryan holds up the little remote control and presses a button that has the little box next to Castle's leg give off a hearty laughing sound.

He looks back at the three standing in the door, his eyes wide in surprise and his jaw hanging open.

At that Esposito smiles, lifts the coat off the coat rack exposing the little spy camera and says "But this time, we have it all recorded for prosperity. So you know, as we speak, a copy of this video is being sent to Alexis _and_ Martha so you can't get your hands on it and prevent it being seen."

"But..." he says staring at them "Gates?"

"Just like your birthday, she enjoys a good gag as much as the rest of us." Ryan tells him.

"Oh my god." he whispers.

"Are you mad?" Lanie asks unsure.

"You bet I'm mad. Where the hell did you find this fantastic thing?" he says holding up the box still giving off little beeps.

"This time none of it was me." Kate says proudly coming over to sit next to him on the couch and looking back at the boys.

"Ryan found that one. I found the little crickets." Esposito says proudly as Castle's eyes grow even larger when he realizes that he's been had so well.

He drops his head into his hands and says, sounding almost proud, "You guys are incredible." He looks up quickly "_How_ did you do the crickets?" he demands.

"Your mother let us in but had nothing to do with it. She actually felt a bit sorry for you." Javi tells him happily. "Alexis on the other hand, she gave us a map of where to put them for maximum effect."

"My god." Rick says smiling. "Those goddamn things are annoying! There's one in my office and I swear it stops when I turn on the light."

"Exactly." Esposito says proudly. "Almost as loud as the crickets I heard when I was standing outside the gates at Fort Hood with two M-Ps unsnapping their sidearms."

"Can I buy you all dinner? You got me good and I see no reason that we shouldn't celebrate." He announces happily. "I just have to get my super in to fix the hot-water in my shower so I can clean up first."

"Already done." the young Irishman says with his best elfish grin. "As soon as you left your place the super knew to go in and turn it back up."

"Up? You mean all you did was turn it down?" he says groaning and sitting back on the couch, the exhaustion taking over fully.

"Guys," Kate says "I say we let our partner here go home, get a good night's sleep and a couple of showers too then we'll take him up on his offer for dinner. Does that sound good?"

"Oh twist my arm." Lanie says. "You know how much I hate expensive dinners and fine wine."

"Hey chica, how about dinner tonight with a handsome detective?" Esposito asks full of swagger.

"I don't think that's a good idea Javi. I'm sure Jenny will be expecting him home." she says walking over to take a seat near her Hispanic suitor and smiling at him.

"Castle, go ho-" Kate gets cut off by her phone ringing. Looking at the caller I-D she sees it's Alexis, and hands Rick her phone "Here, she probably just got the video." she says laughing. "Okay gang, let's give the guy a break. Tomorrow night after work, dinner on him." she says getting up while Rick answers the phone "Hiya Pumpkin!"

As she walks over to the coat rack she tells the boys "Okay, would you two go get the cameras out of Gates' office and tell her we're done? I'll get these." while in the background Rick can be heard talking to his daughter.

"So you think that's funny huh?" ... "And you gave them a map?"

"Here Ryan." she says quietly handing him one of the cameras. "Please tell Tori I said thanks and she and a date are invited to dinner with us tomorrow night."

"Are you kidding? I've never been so proud to be gotten the better of." they hear him saying into the phone.

She winks at Kevin as he and Javi go to unwire Gates' office.

Lanie comes over to talk to Kate as Rick keeps talking to Alexis.

"No, the birthday thing can't be beat. That was so special on so many levels, this was just a spectacular gag." he crows, obviously happy.

"I think you might need to take Writer Boy there home and help him shower up." Lanie says knowingly.

"Doctor Parish! How many times am I going to have to tell you?" Kate says authoritatively then more quietly "It's writer _Man_ and I mean every bit of it." she finishes with a smile as the two head out of the break-room.

* * *

_**Author's postscript:**_  
I know the overall idea is like the "Rear Window" episode they did but I just couldn't get the vision of him trying to shut this box up that kept beeping at him. That idea is an old one, a friend made one in college. Called it the anti-mother-in-law bomb. It got revived by my seeing the electronic crickets that are sold by the ThinkGeek website.


End file.
